


Gone

by aegisofthegods



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Letters, M/M, Suicide Attempt, i really don't know how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:17:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5821012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aegisofthegods/pseuds/aegisofthegods
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wonshik leaves Hongbin another letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone

**Author's Note:**

> I am Rabin trash.  
> This is intended to take place between Love Equation era and Beautiful Liar era. The fic is only Wonshik's letter, so I'll leave some clarifications in the end notes.  
> Hope you enjoy!

"Hey, Binnie.

It's been a while since we talked, hasn't it? Two weeks. We've been too busy and I wasn't able to slip out alone when did have some free time. I don't think you would like anyone but us seeing me deliver this letter, but the hyungs and Hyukkie didn't leave me alone. I'm sorry.

The guys are doing better. Taekwoon-hyung dragged Hakyeon-hyung into their room right after I sent you the last letter and I think he knocked some sense into him. The media is being really fucking disgusting about you, as expected, bombarding us with all sorts of inappropriate questions. Hakyeon-hyung keeps trying to protect us, you know how he is, but you also know he's not able to keep himself together, so he tries to take all the questions on by himself and they always end up having to cut out the questions about you, because he can't answer. Which isn't a completely bad thing, I guess. I mean, at least they're not always talking shit about you on national TV.

Ken-hyung has been bugging me to change my lockscreen to the point that I had to change my phone's password to keep him from doing it himself. You'd hit me so hard if you saw it. It's that selca I took of us on the morning of the day they dyed your hair brown again, remember? You woke up with the sound of the camera going off and came out with such a disgusted expression in the picture. You told me to delete it and I'm sorry for lying to you, but I just had to keep evidence of the one time I woke up earlier than you. You have brown hair in all the pictures of you they've put on the news so far, but you looked too adorable in pink. And that face full of hatred for me and for the world is so much more like you hahaha. I can even see you rolling your eyes right now.

And we have a new manager now! He took your room, so at least there's no more of that awkward tension of having an empty room. I know it would have driven you crazy by now, haha.

I volunteered to finish clearing your old closet for him just so I could snatch your secret Park Hyoshin collection we all knew about. It's safe now, at the bottom of my own closet, so no one else can find it in the middle of the mess you loved so much haha. Most of the albums are with your sisters, I only took the ones you hid. You know, the signed ones and that special deluxe edition I got for you on your birthday. I promise you I won't scratch them, not even the covers, please don't strangle me. But I'm relieved I was the one to find them, because I don't think any of the others would have taken it well, and Taekwoon-hyung's dark circles are only now starting to fade. Actually, no, maybe Hyukkie would be fine. He keeps snuggling me like a baby when he's asleep, but other than that, he's been fantastic, so mature. You'd be so proud. And, well, you kinda owe me a punch, because I told him that. Sorry.

The company is taking it a little easier on us, at least. Remember that sub-unit plan everyone has been fantasizing about for, like, years? It's going to happen! Me and Taekwoon, this album is going to be so depressing, haha. Hakyeon-hyung is happy, he's been fanboying non-stop and threatened us with bodily harm if we don't sign all the merchandise he's going to buy. It's the first time he talked our ears off like he used to do, since you- well. I'm relieved.

And, uh. I think Jaehwannie would be pissed off at me for telling you this, but you would be angrier if I hid it from you. Hakyeon-hyung and Hyukkie don't know about it, but Taekwoon-hyung woke up in the middle of the night to take a piss, a few days after what happened to you, and found him passed out in the bathroom. Apparently he overdosed on his antidepressants and we were really lucky Taekwoon-hyung got him at that exact time. They told everyone it was just some dumb food poisoning, but Taekwoon told me the truth. Jaehwan said it was an accident, which is why I didn't tell you about it before, but last night he had a nightmare and I was the only one awake so he came to me, and he told me the overdose hadn't been completely intentional but it wasn't an accident either. It was almost like I could hear you speaking. He was so distraught, crying his eyes out, begging me for forgiveness because he felt so guilty, because according to him he was disrespectful to what happened to you. You know I'm awful to deal with sad people, but I was scared of what could happen if the rest of the group found out about any of it. I think it was the first time I successfully comforted someone in my life, wow. I hugged Jaehwannie and he eventually fell asleep on the couch with me. The downside is that I was wearing one of the old sweaters I stole from you and it's a little ruined now. Sorry, baby.

Your parents still haven't talked to me much and I don't want to press, but they seem to be fine, all things considered. Your sisters took me out for a movie date yesterday, though. The awkwardness isn't completely gone yet, but you know better than me how cool they are, so it was a fun night. I ate so much popcorn manager-hyung put me on a strict no-carbs diet for the next three weeks, haha. Sad times. But it was worth it, the noonas are so much fun. Also, Jiwon is dropping by to visit me in ten days! Mom and Dad won't be able to make it this time, so I was planning to take Jiwon and your sisters out together. Definitely not to the movies because the popcorn is too tempting, but maybe we could go for noraebang or something. I don't know how I'll be able to handle three overprotective sisters at once without you though. Cheer for me, please. Hahaha

I think that's it? The last two weeks haven't been really eventful other than what I already said, just the usual hectic schedules. But this week seems like it'll be a little less crammed, so maybe I'll be able to catch up on our TV shows, finally. The new Game of Thrones season is premiering in three days! Don't worry, I'll come again as soon as possible and tell you everything, haha.

I really miss you, Binnie. Hope you're doing okay and having fun, baby.

I love you.

xx Wonshik"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Hope you had fun and didn't cry too much. Sorry. <3  
> The idea behind this is that Rabin had been dating for a while already and then Binnie died from a medicine overdose. I've always had the feeling that he's an insecure guy who's way too hard on himself, and also pretty reserved/closed off. So the premise is that he's never let the others see he was suffering and no one saw that overdose coming, and they don't think Hongbin even intended to get to the point of killing himself. Afterwards, Wonshik takes to writing him letters and leaving them on his grave, which the others know about but pretend not to, and this is one of them.
> 
> I really write too much angst. My friends don't trust me anymore when I send them my fics. Oops.


End file.
